Friday, January 26, 2007

NTR = Nothing To Report

Haha.... NTR???

Fat hope... If so... I won't even bother to log in...
Haha...
In fact... kinda NTR... Cos' am super tired lately...
Everyday in camp, wake up at 7.30am can report to workshop by 8am.
Once there I'll fall ASLEEP till lunch time!!! Ha... Its been like this for liek 3 days straight...
Don't know why I'm so tired... even though I've been sleeping early... like say... before 11.30pm
Maybe I'd contracted with some sleeping disease or sleeping spell... HA...

Anyway today was a busy and yet tiring day... REAL tiring... Cos' there's like only 4 of us...
available in the workshop... and we're told to attach to some 89LSG to change track...
Man... the track is like nearly 200kg and there's only 4 of us to do the job...
Though we were able to complete everything by ourselves... but its damn tiring...
compared to having 6-8people for the job... Anyway we were lucky that one of the
warrant Spec came to help us... Phew... if not we couldn't book out even at 1730.

That's all for today... cos' am totally shag out from the track thingy... Gonna knock in early today too...

Btw... monday we requested nights off from staff kumar... And Alan, Benjamin and I went vivocity... Cos' I wanted to buy a DVD player for the bunk so that we could watch movies and dramas... Had our dinner at food repulic... Don't know why everytime I step into the vivocity's food repulic, there's always this headache of what to choose to eat... in the end I had myself a ban mian... After we went to shop around and we got ourselves some movies and drama to bring to watch... And I got the DVD player for only $49 at Big Megastore at harbour front... Very cheap... Haha... Cool... Been watching Gokusen since monday... gonna finish it next monday or tuesday I guess... then we'll start watching Beach Boys... haha... I know they are old japanese drama... But are nice... nicer than korean drama for me... Lol...

Gotta end here... Gotta knock in soon... So soo sooo soooo... Tired.... *YAWN* :O

Am soo soo... happy with my life now...
Free from all the stupid problems...
Enjoying at home... COOL...!!!

Sunday, January 21, 2007

What I look for in a girl...


Well... Hmmm.... let me think...

- Definitely she must not be too short... At least a 1.60m (5'5) so I won't have problem
hugging her... haha...

- Not too young... The most is 3 years younger than me...

- About figure... just a slight hour-glass shape would be perfect. But its not that important...
As long she's not that fat will do... And for the boobs any also can la... ha...
Hopefully is abit toned like atheletes ya... Its kinda cool ya...

- Looks doesn't matter as long I'm comfortable with looking at it...
And don't give me those piss off looks...

- Skin either tanned or fair also can but not too exaggerating can liao...

- Character wise... hmmm... the most important thing I look in a girl...
Definitely not an attitude problem lady... Cos am not a person who'll give in
easily... Especially when I'm not wrong... Not a pampered one... Cos' I'm not born
to pamper people... Then must be sweet, caring, concerning, understanding, filial...
Also don't act cute or pretty if you're not... Not a stubborn one who will never listen to
advices (cos people are showing concerns)...

- Not a person that is self-obsessed(especially those who think its noone's business to say her) and definitely not a smoker and not an alcoholic...

- Talented, intelletual, sporty, animals lover, not a flirt (cos they'll never faithful), know how to console bf, love walking on a date than taking bus or sit down and would change for the one she loves would be a plus...

Guess that's all that I could think off...

So any girls who think you are the above can drop me a message woah...
Haha...
Sugarmummy or sugarjiejie also can woah....
Haha...
Just kidding...


Don't know why I wrote all these stuffs...
Guess I'm bo liao...







Saturday, January 20, 2007

Carefree...

I'm so happy and relax and stressless and enjoying my day at home...
Its so carefree...
Haven't really stayed at home for quite sometime...
Should have done this since long ago...
Shouldn't have gone out most of the time...
cos' somehow its killing my pocket...
and left with like 100 till next pay day...
which is on the 10th feb
Gonna survive on bread now...
=_=
Suddenly just hope that my service is over...
I mean ORD...
And I can't wait to go NUS...
Gonna join the dance club... sports club... blah blah...
Gonna make friends with lotsa cool people...
People with attitude but not attitude problem...
people with style...
people that are rrreeeaalll hot...
reeaaalll sporty...
Ha...
COol man...
Life would be more fun...
hahaha....
Guess my new chapter of life would be lotsa fun...
Unlike the current one...
SO BORING!!!
Never met anything that is happening...
BORING!!!
Ns is just boring I guess...
Don't know why lotsa guys after got into Ns then realise the meaning of:
- family
- friends
- money
- love
- work
- study
- health
- ETC
By right all this you should have know at least by poly years...
around age 17 18...
If don't, its kinda retard...
(No offence to anyone)
HAaa....
Hmmm....
think I should end my this boring chapter of life today...
start a healthy lifestyle chapter by today...
until when school start then another new chapter will starts...
Its way better than just living through this boring chapter till
ORD...
Haahaha...
I'm so carefree....
CARE---FREE!!!
WoooHooo...!!!
DDDuuudddeee....
=D

Friday, January 19, 2007

Patience

Just have a little, patience

I'm still hurting from a love i lost,
I'm feeling your frustration,
Then maybe all the pain will stop,
Just don't be close inside your arms tonight,
dont be to hard on my emotions

(Chorus)
Cause i, need time,
My heart is numb has no feeling,
So while im still healing,
Just try and have a little patience,

I really wanna start over again,
I know u wanna be my salvation,
The one that i can always depend,

I'll try to be strong, believe me,
I'm trying to move on,
It's complicated but understand me,

Cause I need time,
My heart is numb has no feeling,
So while im still healing,
Just try and have a little patience,

Yeah, have a little patience, Yeah

Cause this scar runs so deep,
Its been hard,
But i have to believe me,

Have a little patience,
Have a little patience,

Cause i, i just need time,
My heart is numb has no feeling,
So while im still healing,
just try, and have a little patience,

Have a little patience,
My heart is numbe has no feeling,
So while i'm still healing
just try and have a little... Patience


I just love this song...

Greatest Regret...

Sigh...

I think I lost myself a friend...
Someone I cherished most...
First time ever in my life...
Maybe what I said had reached with a wrong telepath...
Maybe What I tried to mean had never been phrase properly...
I don't know...
Regrets...
Heartbreak....
Feels like dying?
Argh...
Just HATE myself...
HATE my life...
Why must these kind of things happens to me?
Maybe I had asked for them...
ARGH FUCK!!!!(2nd time I swear in here)
DAMN IT!!!
How I wish we're like before...
Just normal friends...
Happy happy chill out at one corner and chit chat...
But I know it will never come through anymore...
Cos you'll not talk to me anymore...
and may even forget about me...
But I still wanna say sorry for whatever I said that had got on your nerve...
But still I wanna bless you for your future...
God Bless You...

Sigh...

Regrets... regrets... regrets... regrets... regrets....
Greatest regrets of my life...
I swear I'll never let it happen again...
I swear...

:_(

My Seduction Style












Hahaha... Guess I'm really bad...
Cool...

Thursday, January 18, 2007

My Reply...

Well... well...
Guess what... Its me here again...
This will be dedicated to someone...
You will know who you are when you read my blog...
Firstly... About wednesday....
Its okay.... to fly kite on me...
I'm cool with it...
I'm really cool with it...
I must be cool...
In fact... actually I'm pissed...
Truthfully...
Cos' the reason you gave me was:
"I'm tired... no mood... blah blah..."
Maybe its true...
But I just hate these excuses...
Cos' I'd been having such excuses for the last decade of my life...
I'm a damn... straight forward person...
If you don't wanna go, just say it out...
Don't like last minute and give me such excuses...
I hate it when people did that...
It just ruin my planning for the day and my mood...
Cos' my secondary school friends had been doing that...
Even now... sometimes...
I thought you ain't like one of them...
But I'm wrong... you're kinda like them...
Am really kinda pissed and disappointed...
But I gotta be cool...
I must...
Cos' I know if I get RrreeaallL pissed off...
I'll get nasty...
And I hate that...
It make me feels old too...
Secondly... I gotta apologize...
Cos' I think I'm at wrong to have asked you...
I think I shouldn't have asked you...
Cos' things wouldn't become like now...
So... Cold....
And... maybe you're right...
We might not be suitable...
Cos'...
we'll seems to be of different world...
You're like the red hot devil...
And...
I'm like the devil with holy crest...
Cos' you pon school and I don't even if its 30mins...
And you're those that won't change for anyone...
As for me... I will... but not to the extent of losing my dignity...
Next is... you're a pampered rich man's daughter...
Who get everything paid for by money given from parents...
Where else I'm a poor man's son...
Who earn all his money himself and a thrifty one...
At times... I kinda hate it when you say you don't have enough to use...
When you like get 1k+ per month
and I get 540 per month only...
Maybe that's how rich people think...
Lastly...
About someone deep in your heart...
I too have one...
Its been 6 years... And I still have this feeling for this girl...
A feeling that no girl can give me...
I know that myself...
(The girl I said I saw at esplanade link that day)
And I too compared her with other girls...
Maybe this is why till now I never had a real girlfriend...
And there's no such thing as curse in this world...
The only curse would be... is your mind...
The power that control you...
If you think the relationship gonna be unstable...
Then it will be...
Cos' I know...
My thoughts was like that before...
And I let quite a few good girls walk passed my life...
But now I know its wrong to think that way...
It'll make you miserable...
And now I've stepped out of that thought...
It'll make you slightly happier...
You can too man...
Its not that hard...
Maybe its hard... cos' girls are wishy-washy...
Sigh...
Maybe what your ex said was true...
Cos' maybe only rich guy like him can make you happy...
To be able to effort all those meals at high class restaurants...
And all those branded goods you love...
Unlike me... only can afford hawker food most of the time...
A place you hate most...
Sigh...
Anyway... Better than having 2 people getting moody all day long...
I think its better for one to be moody...
So... We'll just be friends...
It'll be better off...
Happier...
Less moody...
More smiley...
And it won't spoil anyone's day...
So I decided...
With this solution...
I'll shall not sms you as often as before...
I'll shall not ask you out as often as before...
Simple as... Been INVISIBLE...
But you know what...
Though am gone invisible...
I'm still around you when you have problems...
Or when you need someone to talk to kill time...
But I guess you won't even sms me and ask why...
Or call me to talk and share problems...
Even after reading this article...
Cos' I know you have this group of good friends you have...
To share everything under the sun...
As for me...
I'll just hide all my feelings away for now to myself alone...
And God Bless You for your future...
Be it Career, Studies or Love...
:)

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Things I thought of...

Lately... I've been thinking alot...
What was I thinking of?
Many many stuffs...
Future, Relationship, Money(not really an issue), What school to go?, Etc...
Firstly... Future...
What I wanna be had always been in my mind ever since I
was little... the dream of becoming a Ecologist...
I wanna help all the animals in the world...
Cos' human have enough humans to help them...
Whereas animals only have enough humans KILLING them...
Sorry... Am kinda angry with humans...
Humans are such irritating, self-less and wishy-washy mammals in the whole planet...
Maybe you all think that I'm a phycho for kinda hates human beings...
Well You All Are CORRECT!!!
I'm a PYSCHOPATH!!!
HAHAHA!!!
Sorry back to the main point...
As now I couldn't see myself going oversea
for studies so I couldn't enlist in Bachelor of Ecology
So am kinda confuse of what should I do now...
what route should I take so I could be happy about my job in the future
and bringing enough money and happiness for my family...
Sigh...
What to do... who ask me born in a not rich man's son family...
And its kinda related to my what school to go problem...
Cos' none of the courses interest me in this bloodly Singapore Society...
Such little room for us to explore...
Sigh...
Problematic to live here...
Pay so low... and expenses keep increasing....
Die Ah....!!!
About Relationship...
Just that I'm thinking what I am in certain person heart...
Anyway what I gonna say is what I felt lately...
Might not be true in the person heart...
But still that's how I feel...
I've been feeling that I don't make a great chatterbox now like before...
I'm feeling that there's this huge ice block been stuffed between us...
I just feel that we seems to have lesser topics to talk about
when we're out... maybe is was me... I don't know...
And sometimes I feel that I'm nothing to you...
like the air(not oxygen) you walk through; invisible to you...
Cos' I never receive sms from you first now...
which I used to received.
I misses the time we talked on phone...
once you actually called me on your will
I was like happy cos' I can actually share something...
(Problem?)
How I wish you would call me to share your problems...
That's what friends for right?
But all I get is just some accidental pressed calls...
Just sms-es also will do...
Maybe you're busy...
Maybe I think too much...
Hopefully everything was just my imaginations...
What the hell... you just think too much la...
Get a hang of yourself dude...
Snap out of it man!

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Thinking....


Am Thinking...
About What?
I don't know...
Lotsa Stuffs in my head lately...
Guess My hair gonna grow White Soon...

Simple Life?

Actually I don't feel like blogging today...
But I don't know why I ended up here...
I totally felt nothing today...
Think I'm dead...
Maybe my body ain't but my soul is...
Oh Well...
Hmm...
Suddenly I have the thought of...
"I Wanna Live A Simple Life"
Don't know why...
Maybe I spent too much lately...
I don't know...
I can't feel now...
Felt so dead...
Sorry if I bore you....
+_+
Btw... you look beautiful on wednesday night...
:)

Friday, January 12, 2007

most posting...

Today is my most posting...
I don't know why...
Maybe there's alot of things I wanna say...
But I don't know what to start from and how to phrase them up...
Sigh...
2007 is really a different from 2006...
2006 is much simple and quiet...
2007 is really a difficult year...
Just the start I already have ups and downs...
Guess its a test for me...
a test of many many things...
I must pass this test that is been set for me...
Cos' its for my survivor and well-being...
and it will allow me to become an actual man...
I'm just a young man without enough experience
in life now...
So no matter what I must pass this test...
in order to become happier and a better man...
I wanna change....
I really wanna change...
Cos' I hate myself for being too concern and caring
in the end ended up as irritating pest..
I hate myself for being too quiet and let opportunities fly away...
I hate myself for being too straight forward in words...
I hate myself for being so poor that I couldn't affors
all the stuffs I want...
I wanna change....
I wanna become less concern and caring so I won't become irritating...
I wanna become more outspoken and grap hold of all opportunities...
I wanna become less straight forword in words so people won't
think that I'm complaining when I'm not!!!
I wanna become richer...
YES! RICHER!!!
I will work my ass hard enough to become rich!!!
So I could afford whatever I want...
And don't need be thrifty and become known as stingy!!!
I'm just THRIFTY!!! NOT STINGY!!!
Its hell of a 2 different things...
I save and GIVE!!!
Not save and KEEP!!!
Sigh...
Until now... still no one understand me...
No even my friends of 10 years!!!
Sadly...

Why Man First?

Why Man First?
Someone actually asked me this...
And I thought and thought...
I finally came out why...
I finally can put my thoughts into words...
Actually got the slogan from a T-shirt I bought...
And it gave me the idea of my blog name...
Man First...
Why?
Cos' Man have to be the first to
1. protect their country (though I hate army)
2. protect their love ones
3. open the door for the lady
4. reach on a date
5. say I Love You
6. and Will You Marry Me...

Nights Off Day...

Today I didn't went home like the usual me...
on a wednesday night...
Cos' in me... that's something I wanna say...
and ask...
So I dated Jen out again...
I don't know why...
I just love hanging out with her...
I had never felt this happy when go out before...
Just love this kind of feelings...
(I love Warmth)
Well... I reached city hall mrt station early as usual...
Lol...
Well I don't like to be late...
and am a person who hate to be in a rush too...
So I like to get things planned way ahead of schedule...
Anyway...
I went to Raffle's City B1 and came across a shop
selling chocolate fondant...
so I bought 2...
Yup... then went Carl's Junior for dinner...
Had myself a Western Bacon Cheesebuger meal...
and for Jen...
A super BIG Superstar meal...
She couldn't finish the meal like what I had thought...
Hahaha...
Had a Little chill out at the river side at Esplanade...
there we chatted lotsa stuffs...
mostly rubbish I guess...
haha...
Never mind... It was happy...
And we had our chocolate fondant...
And you know what...
I still can't appreciate chocolates...
The feeling of them melting and swimming inside
of my mouth made me feels weird...
and eating them made my stomach
upset somehow...
I'll try my best to love it...
If I could...
Haha...
On the way back... at the tunnel...
Guess who I saw...
I saw someone whom I sort of love since I was
Sec 4 ( though we had never steady before)
A girl I had never be able to forget the feeling I had
towards her till now...
(kinda Ci Qing right me??? Lol...)
Anyway I know we'll never be one...
And she has herself a loving boyfriend now...
I'll always wish them happiness forever... :D
I'm more sensible now :)
And now I've found myself the true one...
And I really hope we could be one...
I gotta wait for the answer now...
Cos' I asked...
Tell you something...
I somehow felt that I might not have chance
Cos' Am not the type you desired...
Am not the style you like...
a...
an..
and.
am not rich enough...
why?
Cos' I know I can't really afford
the things you like...
How I wish I'm richer...
In fact this thought is in my mind for quite sometime...
I know money is not important...
Sincerity is...
So I had been trying really hard...
really hard...
how I wish I could touch you through the heart...
OH! Lord! Please Give Me The Strenght!
I really wish I have the chance to make you happy...
Please give me the chance...
I'll try to be the very best...
I know I can't confirm how good I can be...
cos' I never step into this thing before...
But I'll try my very best...
I swear!!!
1000%
-_-

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Am I crazy???

Mood swing...
What the hell happened to me again???
Argh!!!
I just mumble some rubbish to someone...
Jeez...
How did I started that in the first place...
Why did I type those stuffs...
Maybe I'm afraid... afraid of what???
I don't know...
Maybe cos' when I needed someone to talk to the most...
noone was there for me...
but with others...
Jeez...
Maybe I know the exact reason why... But I don't wanna admit...
Jeez....
Man's Ego...
Argh... F***!!!
Jeez...
Am I going crazy or what?
I think I am...
Can someone just hit me...
punch me... kick me...
whatever LA!!!
:(

Monday, January 08, 2007

1st down day of my life in 2007

Down Down Down...
I'm feeling damn down yesterday...
Sigh...
My first ever depression day in 2007
I asked my dad will he allow me to go New Zealand to study,
know what's the answer he gave me...
"Sell house lor..."
Simply mean "NO"
I was so devastated with the answer...
Cos' he said see how before...
Sigh...
My dream... my lifelong dream is gone just like this...
the passion for the nature and wildlifes...
the passion of become an ecologist...
all gone...
though I know I still can do my part here...
But its totally different in Singapore...
the opportunities is so little
almost equivalent to none...
I really wish I can work in the wild like what late Steve Irwin did...
I wanna be like him...
Save the endangered species...
I could even die for them...
the passion he had...
is what I have...
Things will never be the same if I'm to study locally...
I'll never be happy about my job...
Everything will be so dead fix and boring...
Down Down Down...
And why isn't there anyone that understand me???
always I need someone to hear my problems...
always I'll have my problems compared with others...
At times my good job also been compared to others...
Why must my everything be compared everytime???
I HATE it! I HATE it!! And I HATE it!!!
Why can't they just focus on ME only???
Why must they always involve others into me???
Can't they just show care & concern towards me only???
Can't they just ignore others?
Argh!!!
No one... Just No one in this world understand what I want & need...
Care & concern towards me only...
Its so simple yet no one show me before...
This is the worse part...
Not even my parents do...
My mum ain't that bad at least she talks to us...
My dad...
his just goddamn quiet...
He always complain about stuffs which he never take action about...
Example...
He always complain about my sister spending too much $$$
he just won't talk to her... he'll just nag at my mum...
Shouldn't a father talks to his child...
be it good or bad topics...
Right? Am I right??? Tell me if I'm wrong...
As I grew older... sometimes I feel that he doesn't fit to be a dad...
I had never had a talk with him...
He had never ask us whether everything is okay...
To me a dad should be a role model to his child
by
sharing things together...
be it saddness or happiness...
Just any problems...
But my dad never did...
his always to himself...
Am really sad about this...
If I'm a dad in future...
I'll never let this happens...
not wanting my kids be like me...
Hoping them to be happier than I am when I'm young...
Sigh...
Don't know why I said so much today...
I had never open up things like this before...
This is the first time...
Guess I couldn't take it anymore...
Stored too much inside of me...
Always had to cry inside my heart...
Guess soon I'll just cry in front of everyone...
Depression seems to be part of my life now...
I just hate myself...
my LIFE...
:_(

Saturday, January 06, 2007

School of Scoundrels

Ha...
Today went Vivo City Golden Village to watch School of Scoundrels...
Well I got the ticket free from a contest
so I asked Jen to watch with me...
Lol...
I think I haven't watch movie in a cinema for like a year?
haha...
long right???
Lol...
Before the show starts...
we went to SuperDog
to have our dinner...
I had a SuperDog and Jen got a Fresh Chicken Burger
The Hotdog Was like damn shiok la...
So.. big... and Yummy!!!
Haha...
I just love hotdogs...
ya...
Anyway the movie was like damn funny la...
the first half I was laughing all the way...
till I could my tummy cramping...
haha...
Well... I've been thinking about something lately...
Had been thinking about something someone
might be thinking too right now...
Should I ask or Should I not???
Am kinda afraid of the outcome...
I want the best and not the worse...
I hate all the negatives stuffs in the world that's why I want the best...
in everything I do...
So should I ask or should I not...
How???
Can someone tell me???
Maybe I'll give it a go when time is right...
Sigh...

Monday, January 01, 2007

2007 New Year Eve

2007 Countdown woah...
Best countdown ever...
Had steamboat at Marina Bay and Fireworks at Shear Bridge...
Jeez... Had never felt so Xin Fu (lucky)
Feel like crying now... Haha... you wish...
I'll never cry....
Lol...
Went steamboat with Jen and Andrew...
And wow... by the time we reach zhen fa, the place was packed with people...
spend about 30mins minutes searching for table...
and another 30mins for plates...
By the time we started our steamboat, its like 8.15pm...
Am was so hungry... ya... dunno what about Andrew and Jen
Think they're hungry too...
Hey... sorry if I've shown the pissed off face woah...
cos' I just couldn't stand waiting...
Am kinda impatience kind of person...
Oh well... we still manage to have our food...
But the whole steamboat I didn't had any HotDogs!!!
Luckily I'm still able to have my siew mai...
Thanks Jen... for getting them for me...
If not I think I'll be damn low...
Thanks woah...
Love ya...
haha...
:x
Anyway had fun together eating...
And why you 2 so fast full...
still can eat somemore de woah...
haha...
And ya... told ya... I'll sure see fire everytime I came...
Sure see some idiot gets their stove on fire...
And last night was the most I seen in a night...
Haha...
After our dinner...
We walk all the way to the shear bridge for fireworks....
But it started to rain...
and I thought our hope of watching the fireworks will be gone...
But luckily, its just a small and short rain that lasted for about 10mins?
Walk all the way to the end of the marina park...
Its a better place to watch fireworks than esplanade
as its not so crowded over here...
The view was spectacular...
Awesome!!!
All the fireworks was like right in front of us...
Beautiful...
Lol...
Jen, Andrew & I
(on the Shear Bridge)













Such Spectacular sight right???

After that we went to boat quay's coffee bean to get some drink

and went to find a seat and sit down...

There we started talking cock...

what ever nonesense that came to our mind we just say it out...

just like what Jen and I did the day before...

Haha...

While we went searching for drinks...

We went across a street with lotsa pubs...

and there's so many drunkens, all vomitting along the roadside...

How disgusting man...

And lotsa "Bengs & Lians" on the street too and its kinda havoc

cos' guys are touching girls everywhere...

Didn't know such street existed in Singapore... If a girl ever walk alone...

I think the girl will be in danger...

But lucky Jen was with us... Andrew and me...

Dunno why... Once I stepped into this street my protection towards Jen grew...

Was like eyeing on everyone that walk near her... and was trying to walk real near her...

Guess if she's my girlfriend, I'll hold her hand and hug her near me...

But well she's not... So all I could do was stay near her and eye on te other guys...

We ended the day with a first train back home...

Glad that everyone was back home safely...

:D

By the way... Sometimes I just love teasing you Jen...

cos' when I tease you, you'll smile and I love seeing you smile...

Meaning you're happy... So I love teasing you... Lol...

:P

And Andrew sometimes your topic was like "Cheem"

Haha...

Anyway Love the company of you 2...

Love ya 2...

:D