Its the end~~~

she said:

i promise i will nv cry and get upset of wad u say anymore. u noe. i really wanna cry on the train when i saw ur first sms. asking me to look back at wad i did to u before saying u treat me badly when u never really do anthing. it really hurts. hurts badly. i was at bedok mrt station sitting for a loong time and waitin for u to call or reply me before deciding to jus leave. when i finally left. i oreadi decided this is the last time i will bother to do anithing for u anymore. i will not bother to wake u up, cook for u, wait for u or do aniting stupid to hurt myself again. i was abt to cook the luncheon meat ramil burger for u yesterday after u help me da bao. so silly. i dun even noe why i bothers. i was waitin for u to come find me after u buy ur shoes or smth. i dun even noe why i would wait n wait n wait for smth tt will nv happen. im tired le. really very tired. had cried alot alot alot. this is the last time. really the last time le. sorry for everything. for scolding u. for having u to put down ur pride to say sorry to me. for having to fetch me home. for everything. take care.



i said:

I do not know why i said those stuffs. but what said are said. I cant turn back the time. though you said you waited for me to call or sms you... I tried to call you but you off your phone. maybe this is fate... when i tried you off your phone, when i stopped trying you on your phone back and you decided to leave. Just now, I wanted you to come right away as i wanna buy ramil burger and honey chicken chop for you so you could eat when you arrive. i just wanna know where you are so i can see when i can go buy and let you try while its still hot. but you got angry, i'm really really sad... maybe the ways we shows our love are different and wanting it to be shown are different too. that's why recently i kept hurting you, making you angry... really sorry for all the dumbs things i do and the hurting stuffs i said. I always tried so hard to save the situation between us whenever something goes wrong, be it my fault or not. But this time i guess its the end, i really dun have the energy to save the situation between us and making you smile. I feel like dying... all drained. Its hurt me lots to think that i cant do anything anymore... just now after the quarrel, i took a long walk back home, crying my heart away. yesterday you know why i went ikea to eat, cos' its reminds me of the day we ate there together. its so lonely to eat alone yesterday. i wished you were there too. sigh... Sorry for everything, for making you sad, for making you wait, for unable to fulfll promises, for expecting many things from me, sorry for breaking your heart, sorry for making you go home alone, sorry for all the bad stuffs i did to you. This will be the last time i'll hurt you, make you cry. no more pain. though i really cant bear to say this, this is the end for both of us. take care panda2. my always still loved. *tears flows down my cheek constantly when typing* Hahahahaha! I'm really very stupid... While typing this message, all the past memories kept flashing back and the plans i had been planning for ages kept flashing too. and also wanting to cook for you. i'm really stupid... dunno why... though i know its the end, i still kept thinking of such things... worthless me... thank you for all the wonderful memories and the stuffs you gave me. i love the bag though it spoilt after awhile. cherished them. hope you'll be happier without me.... panda1. (always in my heart)




I guess its really the end... we should had ended this long time ago...
thank you for everything.
hope you'll be happier without me around.
always in my heart.

Back to my lonely days...

SHOCK OF MY LIFE!!!

12 March 2008, Time 1.35pm

Something big happened to my life....
Something I never thought it could happen on a fine day or on me.

A lorry rammed into the bus I took.
Right at the spot where I'm sitting at.
Was reading a comic at that moment before impact,
When I turned my head, looking to the window,
I saw it coming straight towards me... (Just like the typical drama of mediacorp)
In my heart I was like "Holy Shit!!"
Amazingly, with the great impact the lorry didn't crash throught the bus body...
but slide along the bus body.
With all the commotions the bus and lorry took minor injuries...
And no injuries onboard. That's a relief...
Maybe cos' the lorry was much smaller than the bus itself.
And maybe cos' the bus was a tour bus?

Wonder what would if:

1. lorry is bigger.
2. bus is sbs bus.
3. lorry didn't slide along the bus body.

With all the options above, I've kept wondering after the incident.

What would actually happened if either one of the options took place...

Will I still be able to see the sunlight?

Hmmm... no doubt the answer will never to known...

Maybe this is fate the I would encounter such things in my life once.

But non the less... I gave a laugh over the situation even though I'm part of the accident.

Truely, life is short... daily lifes are unpredictable...

So live your life to the fullest with no regrets...

Follow your heart and dare to try before its too late...

And never holdback because of someone or something...

If not there'll always be room for regrets...

But well I'm glab that I'm still ALIVE!!!

At least for now... :D

Been wondering quite alot these days...
whatever had happened, was it right in the first place?
should I continue my sins or should I let it go?
Which decision will has less suffering?

~~~VEXED~~~

Been going with the same person for quite sometime.
Things was nice, sweet and happy.
Gradually it turns sour, unknown and confused.
kinda weird... why am I feeling such weird feelings?
Things seems to change but yet I dare not admit...
Am I the one who had changed or had the situation changed?
Either one, both inflict certain suffers for us.
Sigh~~~

Am afraid to let it go... am afraid I'll hurt someone...
But if I don't, I'll still hurt someone...
What should I do? Feel so useless now...
At times I don't wish that things will end...
Yet I can't continue with all the sufferings occurring now and then...

I don't even know what's wrong I've done...
I kept getting the cold shoulder this mintue... and then a caring the next...
I just can't stand it any longer...
Am not a toy... when you need me you be nice to me...
when you don't you give me cold shoulder...
Sigh~~~
Why such things always happens....
Is this what people called "love"?

Maybe I should think through stuffs for another few more weeks...
If things still the same... I guess I got no choice but to end it...
If not the pain will be greater as we drag...
And since we havent even started, I guess the pain will be lesser....
Sigh... But... I seriously cant bear to end it...

~~~HOPELESS~~~