Things Happens For A Reason...

Lately many things happens through my life...

But got too many things to say but I have no idea how to start from...

Firstly I would like to thank this friend of mine which I had called panda2 in previous posts. (Though we sounds like we're totally, but I swear 200% that we're just friends.)

Well if not because of panda2 all these while I will never be able to find what's the missing thing I was wondering about and what I really wanted all these years after that very first heartbroken day of mine. (Will talk about it later on)

Secondly maybe the choice of quitting NUS was right. If I didn't I guess I will never found out what's missing and what I really wanted after all these years of thinking.

Cos' if never quit, I'll facebook and get to know panda2 from NUS too.

And without knowing panda2, I wont be enlighten.

Thirdly, if I chose buisness management and marketing this Aug and didnt reject the offer of molecular biology and biotechnology (sometime I really like), I would never ask her out again. ( Who's she? Later you'll know).

Now Who's the "HER" I'm referring to?

I'll call her "L" as her name starts with L.

Really wanna know who L is?

Obviously she's not the L in Death Note

Duh~!

Well she's my one and only ex-girlfriend.

I guess this is shocking to many... especially to my secondary school friends...

Though We known each other for so long, I had never mentioned about L to them.

L was my girlfriend back in my poly year 2.

I still can recall the dates we were together.

23/04/04 - 23/06/04

Though its just a short 2months of relationship...

I had never ever once forgotten about the sweet memories we had...

L was the sweetest girl I ever met...

She never quarrels, always gives me surprises and writing letters to me...

I still remembered while I was away in Japan, 2 days before my return,

she wrote a long postcard letter for me... every postcard has meaning.

I was so touch that I called and said" I Love You"

Thinking back~

That was the only time I said that to L.

And I never gives her surprises, never do sweet stuffs for her and never write letters for her...

Even though I didn't do anything...

She was there to support and encourage me and surprising me...

Maybe I was a dumbass in a relationship cos it was my very first...

But its no excuse...

~SIGH~

Feel like slapping myself for breaking up with her...

Wondering?

I broke up with her cos' I felt something was missing in the relationship...

I still love her then... But I cant bear to hurt her anymore...

In order to minimise the pain for her...

I've just decided...

To think about it...

I was totally dumb... I should have talk to her about it...

*Knock Head*

Ever since we broke up...

I've been searching what was missing in the relationship and what I wanted...

We never met up nor contact for a year plus.

We finally met up again a few times only during my army days.

But I still havent been enlightened.

So again we didnt contact till recently...

30/08/08

The day I saw L again after a year plus again...

This time I finally know what was missing and what I wanted after all these years...

What's missing that am searching and what is that I wanted you may ask.

The missing thing was in fact my ignorance and irresponsibilities in the relationship...

Never did what a BF should do for a GF.

I know I am so dumb... It actually took me 4 years to realise this...

What I wanted was in fact L herself...

Ever since 30/08/08

We have been going out kinda often these few days...

I still can sense that she still have feelings for me...

And I myself have even stronger feelings for her now...

This time I am very determine to get her back again...

But I'm afraid that my actions will frighten her away...

I know that she's scare cos' she didnt even dare to read the letters I wrote for her...

~SIGH~

And I myself too afraid that I cant get her back again...

But if I dont try... I'll never know...

Ganbatte ne Kevin desu!!!

Really happy that the things had happened after we broke up till 30/08/08.

The sure happened for a reason..

I believe its the obstacles I need to overcome before I can get her back again...

*I promise I'll show photos of us when I get L back... Wish me luck*